Saturday, September 25, 2010

First week...success???

Alright so our little bundle of joy is 1 week old today - gosh time flies. Before I forget the details I want to start this post with the most hilarious part of this week and it occurred last night at 3am. Let me paint the picture for you. I was holding baby Charlotte, after a pee diaper change, and I heard "the noise". This noise is new. We have only heard it a couple of times but it is one of those sounds that has a universal meaning - poop is coming! Any way, I staggered back to the changing table, hair wild, and dressed in an outfit only a new nursing mother can relate to (I was/am a hot mess) to find only a small amount of poop had resulted from that big noise. I thought I got off easy. Then the volcano erupted. It started squirting out! I had to act quickly and throw a burp cloth over her butt to prevent it from squirting off the changing table. By now, because of my screams, Robbie was in the nursery. He was exhausted looking, his $500 glasses crooked because he at some point fell asleep with them on and rolled or stepped on them in the middle of the night, and his outfit left a lot to be desired too. As the poop-plosion was occurring Robbie begins to yell, "Poop in her mouth Charlie!" Sounds gross but after the week we have had and at 3am we both started laughing hysterically. It was hilarious! I would say that it made it the best night so far! (I seriously typed fart and had to delete the "t")

Now that story is behind me...This week has been challenging to say the least. I have been riding the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. I am happy and pleased with the way things are going one second and then crying and frustrated the next. I would like to redo the paper I wrote in college on the analysis of the movie Sybil and tell the professor that Sybil did not have multiple personalities she just had a baby!! You are so excited to have this wonderful baby but there are times you can't enjoy it because your baby blues get in the way. The last couple of days have been great for me. I didn't cry at all last night, except for tears of laughter, and my coping is getting better. Everyday is a life lesson day that is for sure.

The biggest challenge this week has been breastfeeding. It looks so easy in the movies. You move the baby toward your boob, they latch on, and before you know it they are 15 years old and independent. This is not the case. Latching on takes work!! Right when I think we have it down, for some bizarre reason, it all falls apart and it is 4am and I am reading how to latch your baby on and position them for BF'ing. To top it off you can't even tell if she is getting any milk. In my case my boobs are not "engorged" yet. It is day 7 and I do not have that "porn star" boob look either. BUT, she has gained weight since our last weight check and when she de-latches she has milk on her lips. Perhaps I got off lucky and my milk is in but I just am not miserable. I'd take not miserable! I have been supplementing about one feeding a night with 10-15mls of formula. She is so tiny and needs to gain weight that I just wanted to make sure she was getting something. The pediatrician approves and the amount I am giving her really probably isn't doing anything but helping me relax. Some things they tell you to do to promote good milk production is to sleep (yeah right), eat right, and drink fluids. I have tried to make an effort to do these things but when she is feeding every 2 hours and it takes me an hour to feed her and put her down, one hour of sleep just doesn't seem worth it some times. I'd say we are making progress but I am so used to being able to "master" a skill and this is so challenging emotionally I wonder if it will all end up falling into place?? The good thing is my pediatrician is wonderful and supportive. She is not a breast nazi, as opposed to the lactation consultants, and if we notice her weight being an issue she is more than ready to assist me in supplementing with more formula. Her focus is where it should be - on the health and growth of baby Charlotte!!

Robbie, as usual, has been wonderful. I had to talk with him the other night and say, "I cannot be the only one conducting "business" with Charlotte. I need to be able to do the fun stuff too!" This resulted because I am basically a milk factory and Robbie is the cuddle bunny. I like to cuddle! So, now I get to cuddle her a bit and dress her up rather than cleaning up our ever growing mess. This helps my frustration levels a bit.

Well, as we embark on week two I am hoping a more sleep friendly schedule emerges. She feeds every two hours and that is exhausting. I am also basically a hostage in my own home unless I can get there and back in one hour - pretty unlikely since I am still moving slow from the delivery. I would like to see her feed every three hours during the day and every 4 during the night. I would also like to see a Celine Dion concert and be skinny again - some things just aren't going to happen anytime soon. I will say I have lost almost 20lbs since delivery!!! I had a lot of water weight going on what can I say.

Alright I am going to leave the picture posting up to Robbie, since he takes about 200/day! We will keep everyone updated too!! Thanks to Kate and Katie for bringing food by-peanut butter sandwiches were getting old!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

And then there were three...

On September 18th, 2010 at 6:25pm our lives changed forever. Our baby girl, Charlotte June Wagoner, was welcomed into the world via open arms (and legs of course)! At 6lbs 1oz and 18.5inches our OB said she was "petite". I say she was unexpected. I was always told she was going to be somewhere around 8lbs at birth but, just like pregnancy, things don't always turn out the way you thought they would. Needless to say, she is absolutely perfect. She has a cute button nose, the tiniest feet, and the littlest fingers you can imagine - she has her daddy wrapped around each and every one I might add!

So, let's talk about how she got here... I was at work on Friday Sept. 17th and I remember having a ton of energy in the am but by 10 or 11 that had dwindled and I was having some pretty bizarre back pain - from my neck to my sacrum. I was having contractions, like I had been having, but nothing was regular so I kept working - I wanted to see just one more patient!! At 1pm I made the decision to leave work. I felt crummy was the only way to describe it - no pain, just "off". The back pain was dull and constant so it was not debilitating...yet. I called Robbie and he came right over and picked me up. I remember walking to the car feeling anxious, nervous, and as though something was impending. At that time I butt dialed my best friend in KY. I heard something coming from my phone and looked down to see she was talking on the other end. She said "what are you doing?" I said, "I think I am going into labor". I took it as a sign that I called her by accident...A sign of something to come.

We got home and I began to time my contractions and they were 6-7 minutes, average, a part. This was concerning. We said let's give it a bit. Our OB said every 3-5 minutes for one hour before we ran to the hospital. We gave it two hours - two hours of every 4-6 minutes we decided to go - better safe than sorry. The day before I had been 1cm dilated so I was interested to see what had happened since then. We were still 1cm but we were 80% effaced. We were told to walk around for 2 hours and come back to be rechecked. After roaming the halls of my workplace in my pajamas and my hair wild, we were checked and we were 3cm dilated. That progress in addition to my GBS positive status bought us a hospital admission to labor and delivery. For the GBS positive I needed to get two doses of antibiotics, 4 hours a part, prior to delivery. They admitted me to make sure I got that in before baby Charlotte arrived.

So, we labored (if you call it that) until 5am, received our antibiotics, and then Charlotte changed her mind. The contractions began to get less intense and come less frequently. We had the choice of going home or staying, getting more antibiotics to be safe, and getting pitocin to pick labor back up. I had always wanted a "natural" childbirth but if the option was presented to me in a way that made me feel the decision for the intervention would be the best for Charlotte I would take it. We chose the pitocin. We "labored" (I use quotes because I found out what labor is really like much later in the day) until about noon and my fabulous OB showed up and decided to rupture my bag of water. This was another intervention I didn't want but I trusted her so I agreed. She said my bag was "tough" so it is unclear if it would have ever ruptured on its own anyway. She had to use a long scalpel to cut it open and consequently decided to place an internal monitor on Charlotte's head - another intervention I had planned to avoid but understood the reason and agreed. So, we kept going until about 2 and at that point we were 4-5 cm. About an hour later something happened. A light switch went off and my contractions became insane, for lack of a better word. I felt as though my pelvis was trying to push its way out my vagina - it was excruciating. At the same time I was nauseous and with each contraction the pain made me light-headed. For someone that doesn't like to show real emotion publicly this was humbling. I was moaning, swaying, crying, borderline yelling. I carried on like this for about an hour and decided with potentially 5 more cm to go I needed help. I chose the epidural. I could not imagine that pain continuing any longer. I was lucky the anesthesiologist was already on the floor. He came and during the contractions he placed the epidural - even more difficult. Robbie had to sit down because I was death gripping him and screaming in pain at the same time - I think I scared him. Once in, the pain was relieved immediately. I could still feel the contractions but I did not feel the pain. The nurse gave me about an hour and then decided to check me again before placing a foley catheter - luckily this wasn't needed because it was time to push. Yep that's right it was time. We were all dumbfounded - Robbie, Kate, and myself. We could not believe it was actually time.

I remember thinking, great now is the time that people get to see me poop everywhere. The first few pushes I was trying not to poop. Here's the deal - you cannot push the baby out without pooping. I gave in and essentially tried to poop and then I was getting progress. Robbie counted each push out for me and Kate gave me updates to let me know that I was really pushing well. We pushed for about 30 minutes (so I am told b/c it seemed like 2 hours) and the OB was called. When she got there I knew the baby was coming. I remember yelling repeatedly, "it's coming! it's coming! get ready! it's coming!" I remember Dr. Dean saying, "I know it's going to be alright". I remember thinking (maybe I said it I don't know), "I don't think you do know she is coming out and I can't stop her". This was the truth she was on auto pilot. The next thing I remember is Robbie saying, "oh my god Dena look"... there she was crying and beautiful. It was and remains to be the most surreal experience of my life. I remember looking over at Robbie glancing down at his daughter with a look on his face I had never seen before - one of pride, love, amazement, joy, excitement. It was the best feeling ever to know he was the one I would be sharing this life with. He was, is, and always will be amazing to me. He was ecstatic. I was disoriented. I couldn't figure out what to do, what was going on, and at one point where I was (I thought I changed rooms). I was a mess. When they finally passed her to me the world stopped. In that moment time stood still. I looked at her and she looked at me and we both realized things are now totally different. Now, we are a family and we will depend on each other forever.

Needless to say, that day changed our lives. We became parents, we endured something that we could have never imagined, and most importantly we became a family. Team Wagoner gained their star player on that day and we became her coaches. The way daddy looks at her it seems I am going to have to be the one with the whistle! He is in love. I am in love with my family and would do it all again in a second.

FYI my hands are still numb from the carpal tunnel but I don't care. My baby girl is healthy, happy, and too cute for words!

These days are unpredictable but I want to keep this blog up. I am hoping to update at least weekly but for now I am taking it one feeding at a time- FYI I think my milk is coming in!!! I am so excited my baby girl will get a tummy full soon!!

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Dena will do a post later about the birth. I'm posting pictures!!! See the Picasa photo-stream thing on the side.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Get this baby outta here!

Today is not the normal day for a post, but carpal tunnel has prevented all typing for me. Robbie is typing this for me.

Charlotte is now the size of a giant watermelon. Today we are 37 and 1/2 weeks and Charlotte is probably around 7 pounds. 7 pounds of pure watermelon sweetness. A lot has happened since our last post, so we will talk about some of it.

First: Charlotte is head down. (That's the correct position for getting out.) We had an ultrasound to confirm it. That was reassuring. (She is also still a girl). Before the ultrasound, however, I had to endure another 'checking' session where my OB sticks her entire arm up my you-know-where to try to feel the baby's head. At this point, I have decided things are exit only down there.

Second: We had a huuuuugggggeeee baby shower at work. It was so amazing to see everyone there and all the stuff we got. (See picture). I didn't think we would find room for it all, but we did! She has so many cute outfits. We cannot wait to see her in all of them.

Third: We have started having contractions!!!! Last week we had two or three per day. This week, we have had 6 to 10 per day!! Today, which is Thursday, we have had them every hour since 10 a.m. I am due for one any minute now but they may be fading. :-( Let's hope not. Aside from the contractions, the baby has also 'dropped' this week. That means we are getting closer. How close? No one knows. But closer nonetheless. We decided not to get checked this week because I didn't want her whole hand up there. I will do it next week. I promise. (I can't believe I have managed to procrastinate on my OB checking. I can procrastinate on anything!) We are hoping to welcome our baby girl by next week for a variety of reasons. Reason 1: We can't wait to see her. Reason 2: Being pregnant is no longer my favorite thing to be. Reason 3: We have all this stuff and we can't wait to use it. Reason 4: Our OB goes out of town soon. Reason 5: It's a baby, for goodness sake. Who wouldn't want it. Reason 6: It'll be good not to sleep separately anymore. We'll have the whole family in the same room.

Fourth: Robbie installed the Car seat. I have no idea how this was done. He will have to show me sometime. We also installed a baby gate in our stairway to keep the cats away from the baby's room and ours. The opening part of the gate is a little narrow for me right now. Hopefully that will change soon after Charlie is born.

Fifth: We went to a breastfeeding class and soon after my mom got us the pump we registered for. That thing looks like it will be a real pleasure to use. I'll be like a cow on a dairy farm. At least it has a cute bag.

I think that about covers it. Can you tell we are in get-it-done mode? We have lists everywhere of things to do. I don't think we will do a blog at 38 weeks, but if something changes we will post updates. We posted some belly-pics too, so check those out.

P.S. The contraction did not come...yet. :-(