Alright so our little bundle of joy is 1 week old today - gosh time flies. Before I forget the details I want to start this post with the most hilarious part of this week and it occurred last night at 3am. Let me paint the picture for you. I was holding baby Charlotte, after a pee diaper change, and I heard "the noise". This noise is new. We have only heard it a couple of times but it is one of those sounds that has a universal meaning - poop is coming! Any way, I staggered back to the changing table, hair wild, and dressed in an outfit only a new nursing mother can relate to (I was/am a hot mess) to find only a small amount of poop had resulted from that big noise. I thought I got off easy. Then the volcano erupted. It started squirting out! I had to act quickly and throw a burp cloth over her butt to prevent it from squirting off the changing table. By now, because of my screams, Robbie was in the nursery. He was exhausted looking, his $500 glasses crooked because he at some point fell asleep with them on and rolled or stepped on them in the middle of the night, and his outfit left a lot to be desired too. As the poop-plosion was occurring Robbie begins to yell, "Poop in her mouth Charlie!" Sounds gross but after the week we have had and at 3am we both started laughing hysterically. It was hilarious! I would say that it made it the best night so far! (I seriously typed fart and had to delete the "t")
Now that story is behind me...This week has been challenging to say the least. I have been riding the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. I am happy and pleased with the way things are going one second and then crying and frustrated the next. I would like to redo the paper I wrote in college on the analysis of the movie Sybil and tell the professor that Sybil did not have multiple personalities she just had a baby!! You are so excited to have this wonderful baby but there are times you can't enjoy it because your baby blues get in the way. The last couple of days have been great for me. I didn't cry at all last night, except for tears of laughter, and my coping is getting better. Everyday is a life lesson day that is for sure.
The biggest challenge this week has been breastfeeding. It looks so easy in the movies. You move the baby toward your boob, they latch on, and before you know it they are 15 years old and independent. This is not the case. Latching on takes work!! Right when I think we have it down, for some bizarre reason, it all falls apart and it is 4am and I am reading how to latch your baby on and position them for BF'ing. To top it off you can't even tell if she is getting any milk. In my case my boobs are not "engorged" yet. It is day 7 and I do not have that "porn star" boob look either. BUT, she has gained weight since our last weight check and when she de-latches she has milk on her lips. Perhaps I got off lucky and my milk is in but I just am not miserable. I'd take not miserable! I have been supplementing about one feeding a night with 10-15mls of formula. She is so tiny and needs to gain weight that I just wanted to make sure she was getting something. The pediatrician approves and the amount I am giving her really probably isn't doing anything but helping me relax. Some things they tell you to do to promote good milk production is to sleep (yeah right), eat right, and drink fluids. I have tried to make an effort to do these things but when she is feeding every 2 hours and it takes me an hour to feed her and put her down, one hour of sleep just doesn't seem worth it some times. I'd say we are making progress but I am so used to being able to "master" a skill and this is so challenging emotionally I wonder if it will all end up falling into place?? The good thing is my pediatrician is wonderful and supportive. She is not a breast nazi, as opposed to the lactation consultants, and if we notice her weight being an issue she is more than ready to assist me in supplementing with more formula. Her focus is where it should be - on the health and growth of baby Charlotte!!
Robbie, as usual, has been wonderful. I had to talk with him the other night and say, "I cannot be the only one conducting "business" with Charlotte. I need to be able to do the fun stuff too!" This resulted because I am basically a milk factory and Robbie is the cuddle bunny. I like to cuddle! So, now I get to cuddle her a bit and dress her up rather than cleaning up our ever growing mess. This helps my frustration levels a bit.
Well, as we embark on week two I am hoping a more sleep friendly schedule emerges. She feeds every two hours and that is exhausting. I am also basically a hostage in my own home unless I can get there and back in one hour - pretty unlikely since I am still moving slow from the delivery. I would like to see her feed every three hours during the day and every 4 during the night. I would also like to see a Celine Dion concert and be skinny again - some things just aren't going to happen anytime soon. I will say I have lost almost 20lbs since delivery!!! I had a lot of water weight going on what can I say.
Alright I am going to leave the picture posting up to Robbie, since he takes about 200/day! We will keep everyone updated too!! Thanks to Kate and Katie for bringing food by-peanut butter sandwiches were getting old!!
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