And then there were three...

On September 18th, 2010 at 6:25pm our lives changed forever. Our baby girl, Charlotte June Wagoner, was welcomed into the world via open arms (and legs of course)! At 6lbs 1oz and 18.5inches our OB said she was "petite". I say she was unexpected. I was always told she was going to be somewhere around 8lbs at birth but, just like pregnancy, things don't always turn out the way you thought they would. Needless to say, she is absolutely perfect. She has a cute button nose, the tiniest feet, and the littlest fingers you can imagine - she has her daddy wrapped around each and every one I might add!

So, let's talk about how she got here... I was at work on Friday Sept. 17th and I remember having a ton of energy in the am but by 10 or 11 that had dwindled and I was having some pretty bizarre back pain - from my neck to my sacrum. I was having contractions, like I had been having, but nothing was regular so I kept working - I wanted to see just one more patient!! At 1pm I made the decision to leave work. I felt crummy was the only way to describe it - no pain, just "off". The back pain was dull and constant so it was not debilitating...yet. I called Robbie and he came right over and picked me up. I remember walking to the car feeling anxious, nervous, and as though something was impending. At that time I butt dialed my best friend in KY. I heard something coming from my phone and looked down to see she was talking on the other end. She said "what are you doing?" I said, "I think I am going into labor". I took it as a sign that I called her by accident...A sign of something to come.

We got home and I began to time my contractions and they were 6-7 minutes, average, a part. This was concerning. We said let's give it a bit. Our OB said every 3-5 minutes for one hour before we ran to the hospital. We gave it two hours - two hours of every 4-6 minutes we decided to go - better safe than sorry. The day before I had been 1cm dilated so I was interested to see what had happened since then. We were still 1cm but we were 80% effaced. We were told to walk around for 2 hours and come back to be rechecked. After roaming the halls of my workplace in my pajamas and my hair wild, we were checked and we were 3cm dilated. That progress in addition to my GBS positive status bought us a hospital admission to labor and delivery. For the GBS positive I needed to get two doses of antibiotics, 4 hours a part, prior to delivery. They admitted me to make sure I got that in before baby Charlotte arrived.

So, we labored (if you call it that) until 5am, received our antibiotics, and then Charlotte changed her mind. The contractions began to get less intense and come less frequently. We had the choice of going home or staying, getting more antibiotics to be safe, and getting pitocin to pick labor back up. I had always wanted a "natural" childbirth but if the option was presented to me in a way that made me feel the decision for the intervention would be the best for Charlotte I would take it. We chose the pitocin. We "labored" (I use quotes because I found out what labor is really like much later in the day) until about noon and my fabulous OB showed up and decided to rupture my bag of water. This was another intervention I didn't want but I trusted her so I agreed. She said my bag was "tough" so it is unclear if it would have ever ruptured on its own anyway. She had to use a long scalpel to cut it open and consequently decided to place an internal monitor on Charlotte's head - another intervention I had planned to avoid but understood the reason and agreed. So, we kept going until about 2 and at that point we were 4-5 cm. About an hour later something happened. A light switch went off and my contractions became insane, for lack of a better word. I felt as though my pelvis was trying to push its way out my vagina - it was excruciating. At the same time I was nauseous and with each contraction the pain made me light-headed. For someone that doesn't like to show real emotion publicly this was humbling. I was moaning, swaying, crying, borderline yelling. I carried on like this for about an hour and decided with potentially 5 more cm to go I needed help. I chose the epidural. I could not imagine that pain continuing any longer. I was lucky the anesthesiologist was already on the floor. He came and during the contractions he placed the epidural - even more difficult. Robbie had to sit down because I was death gripping him and screaming in pain at the same time - I think I scared him. Once in, the pain was relieved immediately. I could still feel the contractions but I did not feel the pain. The nurse gave me about an hour and then decided to check me again before placing a foley catheter - luckily this wasn't needed because it was time to push. Yep that's right it was time. We were all dumbfounded - Robbie, Kate, and myself. We could not believe it was actually time.

I remember thinking, great now is the time that people get to see me poop everywhere. The first few pushes I was trying not to poop. Here's the deal - you cannot push the baby out without pooping. I gave in and essentially tried to poop and then I was getting progress. Robbie counted each push out for me and Kate gave me updates to let me know that I was really pushing well. We pushed for about 30 minutes (so I am told b/c it seemed like 2 hours) and the OB was called. When she got there I knew the baby was coming. I remember yelling repeatedly, "it's coming! it's coming! get ready! it's coming!" I remember Dr. Dean saying, "I know it's going to be alright". I remember thinking (maybe I said it I don't know), "I don't think you do know she is coming out and I can't stop her". This was the truth she was on auto pilot. The next thing I remember is Robbie saying, "oh my god Dena look"... there she was crying and beautiful. It was and remains to be the most surreal experience of my life. I remember looking over at Robbie glancing down at his daughter with a look on his face I had never seen before - one of pride, love, amazement, joy, excitement. It was the best feeling ever to know he was the one I would be sharing this life with. He was, is, and always will be amazing to me. He was ecstatic. I was disoriented. I couldn't figure out what to do, what was going on, and at one point where I was (I thought I changed rooms). I was a mess. When they finally passed her to me the world stopped. In that moment time stood still. I looked at her and she looked at me and we both realized things are now totally different. Now, we are a family and we will depend on each other forever.

Needless to say, that day changed our lives. We became parents, we endured something that we could have never imagined, and most importantly we became a family. Team Wagoner gained their star player on that day and we became her coaches. The way daddy looks at her it seems I am going to have to be the one with the whistle! He is in love. I am in love with my family and would do it all again in a second.

FYI my hands are still numb from the carpal tunnel but I don't care. My baby girl is healthy, happy, and too cute for words!

These days are unpredictable but I want to keep this blog up. I am hoping to update at least weekly but for now I am taking it one feeding at a time- FYI I think my milk is coming in!!! I am so excited my baby girl will get a tummy full soon!!