Sunday, July 25, 2010

31 weeks

The fruit analogies haven't been that great lately so I haven't been using them but this week we are 31 weeks along, she is over 3lbs, and is getting ready for a major growth spurt over the next few weeks. Charlotte had a great check-up this week. Her heart beat is normal and everything is measuring where it should be! So, we have about 9 weeks left and things are getting serious. I guess she could come as soon as 37 weeks so we could only have about 6 weeks left. I am still holding on to that hope that a lot of first time moms are late!!

Her movement is definitely changing. I still get some pretty good kicks every now and then but I feel like she has positioned herself head down and butt out - meaning her legs and arms are faced toward my spine. I say this with no scientific or medical proof of course but the movement I am getting is more a push and roll than a punch or kick. There are many times during the day when I can feel her if I press on my stomach a bit. She feels like a hard ball from my pelvic region to about 2-3 inches above my belly button. It's weird but nice to finally know where she is. One thing she has been doing lately is rolling up into a ball during the day. This causes a lot of pressure on my abdomen and I begin to feel like I am stretched to the max! So uncomfortable!! Then at night she stretches out and gets those little feet right up near or maybe under my ribs. This is very pleasant...just kidding! It feels like I have a stitch in my side. Either way her movement, any movement, is so comforting to me. I absolutely LOVE sitting still and feeling her squirm. I LOVE IT!!

I will go ahead and say it. This week was a tough week emotionally for me (and consequently Robbie). It's been really hard to stay focused at work lately and I feel like my work is suffering. I still get the job done but my mind is always somewhere else (multiple other places really). Sleep became a major issue this week also. I have officially moved to the couch and I hate sleeping without Robbie. A.) it's lonely. B.) I have to leave a night light on because I am afraid of paranormal activity for some reason and C.) I miss a little cuddling every now and then! I just cannot sleep on a bed - any bed. I sleep really well from about 8pm- midnight and then it is touch and go. I guess this caught up with me on Thursday night. I woke up about midnight, rolled around until about 2am and then just called it quits and got up. I ended up calling into work because I felt so run down. I have never been good at establishing balance in my life and it seems I am going to be forced into it from now on. We had our first child birthing class yesterday and it was great but I think everything came to a head last night after Robbie and I were talking about things. I am so overwhelmed, scared, nervous, worried, tired, etc. about this baby and the upcoming school year. I think the birthing classes just made it more real. A lot of the couples in the class are due around the same time in September and they all seem so organized and put together. I feel like I am just running around with my head cut off. This experience has really brought out a lot of fears that I never knew I had. I'm afraid I am not being a good worker, a good wife, a good carrier for our baby, that I won't be a good mother, that I don't support Robbie enough while he is doing his dissertation and getting ready for jobs. If you really think about it, it is so overwhelming. Sometimes I can get it into gear and get things organized and other times I want to close the door, turn off the lights, and go to sleep. I have always been a big worrier. Carrying a human being inside has not made this better. I worry about all those things I mentioned above and then I worry that my worrying is impacting her development - is she getting what she needs, is she resting enough, is she moving enough, do I need to rest more, am I resting too much, am I eating too much, do I need to eat different foods - it really is endless. Robbie is keeping things together and I am hoping to kick it into gear soon but this week has been a little overwhelming needless to say. (Charlotte just gave me a little push to say "Hey mom! I'm okay in here". I think I need her more than she needs me.)

So, let's move onto something positive shall we...THE BABY ROOM IS READY FOR DECOR!! I cannot believe it. They came, inspected it, and made the determination that the dry wall was not damaged and there was no mold present. This means they took down the damaged parts, which wasn't much, and painted the whole room - done in less than 5 hours total!! We are planning on setting things up and getting her room ready next weekend!! This even stresses me out. We have a ton of stuff in boxes but once you set it up it will make things much more real. It has to be done though sooner or later! Might as well choose sooner right??

Our child birth class was pretty good this week. It is a two day class, yesterday and today. Yesterday we learned about the stages of labor and some breathing techniques. The class was really coach directed which I liked. Robbie, I think, feels a little more prepared for the big day and I know a lot more about what probably will happen. As usual, the Wagoners got cracked up and I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard during a practice contraction. He was massaging my back, as directed, as I focused on breathing and he decided he should massage my butt a bit. I lost it. Then I couldn't look at him for at least 30 minutes because I would laugh even more! I hope today we can keep it together. Today we will learn all about hospital procedures and potential complications - really an uplifting session. Our instructor is wonderful though and the classes have really been informative so far. On Wednesday we have an evening class about caring for a newborn and next month we will begin the classes on breastfeeding. I am confident I won't remember half of what I learn but if Robbie remembers the half I forgot we should be alright.

Okay this is a long one but we are getting closer and there is more to tell!! We are getting close and even though I am really scared I am really excited to see our baby girl and to welcome her into our family. We are looking forward to teaching her so much and to be beginning this new chapter in our life. As we look forward to welcoming a new member into our family we do have to say "see you later" to a good friend who is moving on to a new chapter in her life - good luck Michelle!! We are so happy you are moving out of the desert to greener pastures!! We look forward to seeing you at Thanksgiving - all 3 of us!!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

30 weeks down 10 to go!

Well we have reached the 30 week mark. We are still not ready to welcome baby Charlotte and she is still not ready to be welcomed but there is something about entering the weeks that no longer begin with a "2" that makes me nervous and excited. Everything is going well, as far as I can tell. She is moving a ton, she gets the hiccups every now and then which is fun (for me), and she is definitely taking up more room. She is about 3lbs or a little over (depending on your website of choice) and she should gain up to 1/2 lb per week now. Space in my belly is definitely getting tight. I am beginning to feel some twinges under my ribs and my breathing is much more shallow now. I can only imagine how I will feel at 9 months!!! Sometimes I sit and think that a month before we conceived our fabulous, wonderful, amazing, and beautiful little girl I was in the best shape of my life having just completed our first marathon! Gone are the days that a flight of stairs wasn't my enemy and a 30 minute walk a was warm-up! I will get it back and I already have plans for my first post-partum 1/2 and full!!! Get ready Auntie Erin because you will be forced to run with me!!

So, my mom informs me that my blogs are too long. Part of this is because we are going to turn this into a book so we can remember our journey and to allow baby Charlotte to see how we prepared for her. If I leave anything out I will forget it - baby brain or not! These may get shorter, however, because my carpal tunnel is getting worse every week and typing does not help!

With that said, nothing happened this week so this post will be short!! We have begun to seriously discuss our birth plan as a team and we are still aiming for a medication free birthing experience. I have a variety of reasons for this and most of them are not holistic or 'hippy'. They are sensible and they are my own reasons. I continue to get the most negative reactions about this. I feel like people should just say, "if that is your decision then fine." I am not stupid. I realize there will be an insane amount of pain to deal with on that day or days. I know this. I just figure if I don't know how it is going to feel why should I automatically decide to pump my body full of medications prematurely. Let's get in there and actually experience child birth before we start all that. I read books that say don't 100% commit to a plan because then you will be disappointed when it doesn't work the way you anticipated. What with kids, childbirth included, will work the way you anticipate??? That's my question. I officially do not have children yet but this pregnancy has taught me flexibility is a necessity. I just want a goal to have in mind. A goal to focus on during her birth. I have two: 1.) to welcome a healthy beautiful baby girl into the world, my arms, and our family and 2.) to do it with as little medication as possible. Take it or leave it.

The baby still unfinished rained. I am hoping, any second now, for an email from our landlord setting up a time to begin the dry wall work!! I am so excited!!

So, really that is it for this week. Next week we are taking our child birthing classes so we will talk about that and, hopefully, we will have some news on the baby room. I am hoping to post pics this afternoon too!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Baby Butternut

29 weeks!! We are definitely getting there! I am basically confused at her size right now. Every website you go to estimates her to be a different length and weight! Baby is clocking her in at about 2.5lbs and 15 inches. Other websites say she could be as big as 3lbs and 17 inches. I have no idea. I am going to guess she is somewhere in the middle! We had an OB appointment this past Tuesday (28 2/7 weeks) and I was measuring at around 29 weeks so that could mean she is measuring on the larger side. Not much larger, thank goodness, but maybe closer to 3lbs. Who knows!! She seems to be doing fine and it won't be long now before we get to meet her!!

Let's discuss my biggest frustration of the week, shall we. We will go ahead and discuss it and move forward! The baby room is still not even started!!!! Okay, I realize I won't technically need the baby room right away. Some say I won't even need it a month or two after she is born. You know what I say to this??? I NEEDED it 2 months ago. I don't care that it won't be used, I just need it done and ready. At this point, I NEED everything done and ready. My need for organization when it comes to the baby is coming to an all time high. I guess I am beginning to nest and I just want everything ready. I feel like she could come at any moment and if she does then we are going to be running around crazy finding a car seat or a changing pad or, I don't know, powder to diaper her. I guess if she comes really early we will have some time while she hangs out in the NICU - which would be awful BTW. I think Robbie is going crazy with all this too. He has been so accommodating this whole pregnancy and now I can tell he is tired. Back to the baby room...we are still waiting for RAIN!!!! I was the one about a month ago that said waiting for rain was a ridiculous idea. I was told but multiple sources, "oh no, it will rain and the the roof repairs will be done by early July." It is about mid-July now people! It hasn't rained and the dry wall still needs to be repaired. Today is supposed to be a pretty good chance for rain so please keep your fingers crossed!!!

Let's talk about something good shall we. So, we had our monthly OB visit this past Tuesday, which will be bi-monthly BTW at this point, and everything checked out fine!! Around 28-29 weeks my OB likes to screen her patients for gestational diabetes. What this entailed was me arriving to my appointment a little early, drinking a super sweet version of fruit punch Hi-C, and waiting around for an hour to have blood work drawn. Fortunately the results came back normal. I was a little concerned because I am no longer as thin as I used to be and I often equate obesity with diabetes. Things are fine though. Unfortunately for my OB, that sugary drink made Charlotte go crazy! She was trying to doppler my belly to hear her HB, like she always does, and Charlotte kept moving! She couldn't find it for the longest time. When she thought she found it Charlotte kicked so hard the doppler moved and we had to start all over again - twice! I was worried at first but when I saw her kick the doppler I knew she was just being a little sneaky in there!! She definitely seems to have a mind of her own. I think she takes after me and maybe my cat Hannah. Here's an example, she likes it when I talk to her (she moves more so to me that means she likes it) and she likes it when I rub my belly. Only sometimes though. Sometimes she will be moving a lot and I start talking or Robbie starts talking to her and she stops as if she is trying to hide! She does the same thing with movement. She could be rockin' and rollin' in there making my belly jump all over the place and the second Robbie puts his hand on there to feel it (seeing isn't enough for him) she stops! It's like she is telling us, "I like you and I like affection but only when I say it is time for that. Otherwise, let me be!" I actually think it is cute...for now! Speaking of belly movement...every time I go to grab my camera to record some video of my belly bouncing she stops!!! I will keep trying though. With her getting bigger, her kicks are bigger and I am getting a lot more pushes and stretches. Instead of my belly just poking out it stretches out side to side - looks like she is sitting sideways pushing with her hands and feet or maybe stretching her arms out wide. Pretty neat. I would love to have like 4 or 5 hours a day to lay there and just watch her move. It is my favorite part of the day. That irritation called my job doesn't allow this!! :)

So, this week we also toured day care centers. We actually just went to one near our house. I hate this saying but I am going to use it, "it is what it is". It's a day care. Nothing more. Nothing less. I am still not thrilled with the idea but the babies there looked happy - except for that one who tried to make a break for it when we opened the door to the nursery. Yes, he was crawling but he was moving fast! People keep saying, you should have someone come to your home. We say we really don't want a stranger home alone with our baby. If we knew someone that would be different but I just don't trust people enough. At least in a daycare if the caregiver is sketchy there is more than one there to tell on her. Then people say, "find a family daycare" - one run out of someone's home where he/she cares for a small number of children at a time. Sounds okay but then again it is a stranger that is unsupervised and if he/she is sick there is no back-up coverage and you don't have daycare for that day! I think I am pretty well convinced a center is the way we will go - the regulation, flexibility, and activities available seemed pretty good. I am still, however, holding out for the lottery so I can stay at home and take care of her myself! Bonus too is that we will only need daycare really for when Robbie has his foreign language reading groups - half days twice a week. That makes it a little easier. Too bad you pay for a full day!!

So, last week we had our wonderful baby shower and this week I got to host a baby shower! In my home with maybe 15 people. Those of you that know Robbie and I may wonder if this really occurred. Did they really have that many people in their home? Do they really have that many friends? Yes we did we don't. We didn't know some of them but it wasn't about Team Wagoner and it was fun! I figured I would be exhausted trying to get things together but I did have help which was absolutely needed!! Thanks Kate and Robbie!! So, Congrats Laura and Lenhart!!

So, this is getting lengthy. Let just end this post by giving a new symptom update. My boobs leaked. I woke up this morning at about 1:30am having a braxton hicks contraction - usually occurs if my bladder is too full or just randomly. I went to the bathroom and noticed a wet spot on my night shirt. I thought, well, I guess they are starting work. Let's hope, like everything else, this doesn't get too out of control before Charlie is born. I don't want to wear those weird boob pad things yet.

Also, congrats to my friends on your big news! I will be cryptic for now until the news is out and about! Consequently, when I read this a few years from now I will have no idea what it is about!

I should also be able to post some pics from my baby shower last weekend!

BTW next week we are 30 weeks. We will be in the 30's! That's all I am sayin'. Also, I have decided the next belly pics we post I am actually going to fix my hair - those recent pics were ridiculous!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

3rd Trimester!!

Okay so we are into our 3rd trimester, 28 weeks down, 12 weeks to go, and 9 weeks left until we are considered "full term" (according to some websites but i gotta ask my OB this)!!! Yowsers!! It is time to kick this baby getting ready stuff into high gear!! We still have to get this baby room done and we are still missing a lot of stuff that is needed for the baby. My goal is to have all of this done by the first of August. I say this for a number of reasons - 1.) I am getting way too anxious without it being done 2.) She could always come early and I want to be as prepared as I can to avoid any problems or unnecessary calls to CPS and 3.) I am getting uncomfortable and I do not think during my 9th month I am going to really be wanting to run all over town gathering big ticket items and decorating the room. Robbie is slowly catching my drift and has lifted the baby buying ban so this weekend we bought a few things - not much but enough to make me feel like we are making progress.

Let's talk about what is most important shall we - BABY CHARLOTTE! Baby Charlotte has been a wild woman this week. She has been rockin' and rollin' in this belly all week!! She seems to calm down at night but I can finally feel where she is laying and if I roll too far on my side she lets me know. One big kick to say, "Hey that's my arm your squishing!". She is over 2 pounds and about 14.5 inches (depending on which baby website you consult) - about the size of a chinese cabbage!! She will get into these major fits of movement and it really makes me chuckle. I am going to try and video tape her moving my belly and post it if possible - it is hilarious!

So, let's do something we haven't done in a while...SYMPTOM CHECK! Entering into the 3rd trimester I think it is important to do a bit of recapping.
1st trimester - fatigue, nausea, headaches, dizzy spells, food aversions, mood swings, anxiety, and fear about the potential of my changing body!
2nd trimester - increased energy, leg cramps, constipation (very occasional), a lot of gas (not so occasional but mainly burps so that was good news for Robbie), loss of balance and coordination, baby brain (forgot words or tasks), and anxiety and frustration as I watched my body change and the scale continue to rise.
3rd trimester - 1 week in...nausea, cold sweats, leg cramps, fatigue, overall I feel uncomfortable, boobs are getting bigger (again) and sore, swelling has increased, and I have basically given up about my body. Take it or leave it I say. I am too close now to even worry about it. This week has been tough and I am hoping it really isn't going to be this way for the next 3 months. The heat in the desert plays a large role in my discomfort. I am not really able to bend down as easily as I could before, Robbie has to help me out of the couch or chair, and I can no longer see the tops of my thighs (among other things) to shave. My plan is to do my best and ask Robbie to make sure I didn't miss anything important - TMI I know but at this point you really don't care. At least I don't. I am so blessed to have this opportunity and I know I will do it again but it does get uncomfortable. Fortunately I have the best husband in the world to tell me everyday how beautiful I am. Yesterday he even said, "you look small today". What a guy!

Speaking of husbands, one of our friends announced their engagement this weekend. We are super excited for both of them and wish them the best. Events like these cause me to contemplate our marriage, relationship, engagement etc. Looking back, the decision to get married seems like the easiest decision we have ever made. At the time, getting married was such a daunting task and it becomes this huge, overwhelming deal in your life that encompasses your whole being. Now, I see that it was a formality and being with Robbie and having this wonderful baby is what it is about. Enjoying our lives together, starting a family, and never taking time for granted. You always say 'I wish I knew then what I know now'. My advice to the newly engaged or soon to be engaged (which let's be honest take all advice with a grain of salt) enjoy your time with the one you love - time goes by so fast!!

Well, the best thing happened yesterday! A suprise baby shower!!! I usually cannot be surprised. I can usually get the info out of Robbie pretty easily but he was so cryptic and I couldn't figure it out. As we were on the way he started to convince me we were going to a water park to cool off and fear immediately sunk in since I really hadn't shaved my legs properly for a swim suit!! Once I knew where we were going that made it more confusing!! When I walked in it was wonderful! All our friends were there and it was perfect. Rocky Road ice cream and everything!! We got some really cute stuff for Charlie and pics will follow. I am just so amazed that people would take the time out of their day to plan something like that. It was absolutely perfect! Thanks guys!! Thanks a bunch to Kate who organized the whole thing!! She's a great friend and soon to be a great birth coach!!

Okay sorry for the sappy break, back to business! We have accomplished a few things this week! For starters I made a list of all the things we need to get accomplished before Charlie arrives! Robbie loves my lists I just know it! Second, Robbie called the day care centers and we will tour those on Tuesday to see what we think. Thirdly, I decided when I will be starting maternity leave - October 1st! Yes, Charlotte is due a week before that but I am hoping to keep working up until she is born. If she isn't born by October 1st I am done. I can just imagine how pleasant I will be if she is week overdue!! This date remains flexible. I do not have to make a final decision until 30 days before my anticipated departure so I gotta see how I feel. I may stop working earlier if I have to...but I don't plan to!

So, I think that about does it. We missed last week so I hope this updates everyone! Oh! One of my friends bought me a snoogle so I am going to take pics of that and Robbie bought me a Ritmo - music device for the baby while in utero - so I will take pics of that and I will take some belly pics to kick off our 3rd trimester!!