2 months...goodness

Well our nugget is 2 months old and I cannot believe it. Life is so totally different now and to be honest I am having a hard time adjusting. Everything about life is more difficult now. Sometimes even finding the time to go to the bathroom or shower can be difficult! We are making do though and trying to figure things out as we go. Robbie, not surprisingly, is a natural with Charlotte! For me things are coming a bit more slowly. Some days I feel like a fish out of water just floundering around. Robbie often pulls me back in and I get my bearings. So many things for me are different - my body, my daily routine, my lack of running, my emotional stability. These are not the things you think about when you decide to have a baby. You also don't think about the sleepless nights. Well if you don't have kids think about the sleepless nights at least!

So this blog is going to be more of therapy for me. I feel like I am in the right mind to honestly discuss how things are going. Overall things are going well. Charlotte is happy and healthy and we love her smile for sure. I have had some issues mentally. Looking back I think I had issues before I actually sought treatment but I think that is how it always is right? I have postpartum anxiety/depression. There I said it for the world to hear! I'm not crazy like that lady in Texas...it's a different kind of crazy. My main problem is anxiety. In the beginning, and now a bit less, I was obsessed with Charlotte's schedule. Obsessed. It think it was something I thought I could control. To be honest I did control it and it drove me and those around me crazy. I was, occasionally am, so overwhelmed with anxiety I think it would be better if I wasn't Charlotte's mom. I know this is ridiculous but this is the place I have been for the last 2 months. Not always great. Fortunately, after trying to divorce Robbie twice I decided to face the music and realize something is not right. I called my OB and started taking medication. I don't want to take this forever so I am starting therapy next week. I have also found a really great support group that helps me get from day to day. The point of all this is show that not everyone has the best experience post-partum. I'm just lucky Robbie realized before I did that I was crazy and he wasn't going to leave me. I'm very lucky.

I'm also very lucky to have Charlotte in my life. Her smile brightens my day and her coos are music to my ears. I'm just beginning to enjoy her...thanks zoloft!

So enough about me...Charlotte is doing great! Robbie and I have been super sick this week and Charlotte has, somehow, avoided it! She's a tough cookie I guess!! She is beginning to talk a bit, well coo and she is really getting good head control. We are so excited for her! The pediatrician told us to start to expect things to get easier and for her to be more interactive. The interactive part I buy the easier - doubt it! She is really a great baby and I am so lucky she has her daddy's temperament - calm, cool, collected, cries when hungry!

We have just finished her first Thanksgiving and it is so crazy to think this time last year we were preparing to run a marathon and she was just a thought. Life has changed so dramatically in the last 2 months!

We will try to post some new pics soon too!! Congrats Megan and Jimmy on your little boy - he is so cute! Also, great to finally meet Henry - Laura and Lenhart he is awesome! We have some great friends here in AZ and they always make the holidays bearable without family!! They are our AZ family!